2/3/2011 MMPA ------ I JUST CANT DO IT …..

It’s a funny thing to say so though it’s a bit embarrassing at the same time: I just can’t control my body naturally.

For example, we tried to breathe with tummy today. Yeah, I breathed in and held….1,2,3…. Everything seemed fine but when I breathed out, the air inside my body suddenly disappeared thus I couldn’t sustain the length as I took in the air.

What’s going on?

HYF told me ‘too hard.’ ….. o I know I am too concentrated in doing all these basic actions…… BUT I JUST CANT HELP IT !!!!!

Depressed is what I felt after the lesson. I suddenly remember there is a ridiculous book called ’secret’ several years ago (my mum introduced it to me), I hate the book as I find it so non-sense. However, in this situation, I think I may just have to do whatever thing I can---- make believe by keep persuading myself ----- LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO

LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO

LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO LETGO

OK, just let go (though in a large possibility that I am still ‘that bad’ in the following lessons ~~)

25/2/2011 MMPA ----- Space vs Events

That’s my usual logic in thinking : Cases after cases, stories after stories. Whenever I am creating a script or just imagining, I always focus on the events only. Provided that you ask me WHERE DOES IT TAKE PLACE ? I then become speechless.

Today we did some exercises with HYF about ‘’space’’. There is a square marked on a certain space, it could be anything including your imagination and others’ imagination. We have to react to the certain space.

I was observing all the time. I tried my best to understand what my dear classmates were doing, I had no intention to create any new story but to ECHO. That’s my goal. But it just seemed fail. The reason is I CANT SIMPLY GET RID OF MY OLD WAY OF THINKING. For example, when I was watching my friends, I see WHAT THEY ARE DOING rather than WHERE ARE THEY. Therefore I echoed with their actions but not the whole space.

It’s quite hard to change my old way of thinking, still I find it interesting to do so. Once I focus on the space also, everything seems attractive suddenly. I remember one important thing I learnt from my Chinese Writing is to check the given topic carefully. I must be tightly connected with the given circumstances or it’s just a ‘stories happen everywhere’. Nothing special.

I want something special. And I just think that Chinese Writing does so, why not in my whole mind set?

Space vs Events.   A very good point to start to change myself .